Time heals wounds and memories fade away

but I won't forget you....... Wallace?

Time heals wounds and memories fade away

but I won't forget you....... Wallace?

Two months are over already?!?!?

I feel like I've wasted my time again pfffft. Every holiday I would have goals & I didn't accomplish them sigh ): like taking up dancing & piano classes and studying x: I always rush at the last week or smt...... I wanna do something meaningful, like volunteering at SPCA? But nobody wanna do with me gahhh. Forever alone.......

my future...

study study study... I wanna migrate/travel to other countries, Singapore is too stressful, how to live life fully, how? ):
Goal : earn lots of money and marry a well off, good, handsome husband muahahahah. Please come true :P

Hi stalker,

This post is specially dedicated to this stalker haha. Love you d; you're like my only friend that read my tweets/blog I think hahaha kinda creepy but oh well. You're such a weirdo y'know, always in a world of yours haha mwuahhhh <3

Why

Why am I so stupid why can't I learn quickly why must I be so stupid gosh I totally suck at maths I don't understand a single thing that he said why is he talking so fast damn I suck at maths ok I can stare at the question the whole day and not solve it fucking shit I hate maths yet maths is so important idk why my kind just blank out when it's maths my brain hate maths oh gosh I'm fucking SCRWED and pissed at myself urgh please make me do well in maths just please ugh please............................

dreams

They say when you dream about someone, it means the person is missing you. I beg to differ. It's just a stupid quote thing that someone created, well maybe to let people hopes up?

I think that when we dream about someone, it's us missing them. And those we do not miss, or just some random person we dreamt about or our friends, it's just our inner conscience remembering them. It's our inner conscience thinking about them...

I hate people comparing me with others. Just fuck off

Time really flies so fast....

marina

bought my grand uncle and his friend form  hongkong for sight
seeing at  marina area there weeks(?) ago. it was such a boring
place  oh gosh. we planned to go gardens by the bay dome
but it was raining the whole afternoon so we were stuck
in mbs the entire day .__.
.

                                 the canal street

went to marina with my youngest aunt first as she lives
near me. i don't like her /: she's so mean , always thinking
she's better then others and richer and whatever urgh.
my grand uncle were still walking to mbs so i had to
follow her shopping. went into those branded goods
shop. feeling like a awkward  duck there cos basically
i'm not even rich or anything hmm.. she took her
time walking around or standing there staring at those bags
wasting my time oh gosh pure torture.


                          wishing well outside mbs

finally my other aunt, uncle and grand uncle etc. came.
we stood outside staring at the wishing well for quite a long
tome because it was so cool and pretty :O before it became
filled with  water, it was just a  plastic empty thing,  but
at certain times, the water will  start coming out of the holes
thingy there in a circular motion creating  a whirlpool effect.
 it was cool seeing the well get filled up with water and all
the coins above  getting washed down. the water will pour
down a hole leading  to the canal street  there. so cool!!




here's my aunt trying to video everything hahaha
she likes videoing everything o_o love her xoxo



my lunch at the food court. mmmhmm
my granduncle and his friend bought us five huge plates of
fruits wtf and i was trying to to eat them but they kept on
forcing me to eat. pretty grumpy then. i was so full
already argh






     my youngest aunt walking around~


     them sitting below while waiting for me and my uncle.
     we both got lost searching for them haha





       macaroons and cupcakes at high society





     macaroons at twig high tea restaurant. these looks
     better and have the 'high class' feel haha



   bought vitamin water, fruit punch flavor.



      random shot at gardens by the bay.
      didn't go in thou  ):

 
                                      me

annoying stuffs at home

It's so noisy here. arguments are frequents in and outside my house. Then there will  be those crazy kids/ teenagers playing below my house or outside. that's still ok. the worse thing ever  is the annoying  drilling & hammering above my house. had  been happening over  the past few days wtf. umm excuse me, do you need such a  freaking long time to fix or renovate your house -__- it's so irritating. every few minute  they will start hammering   stop, and start again. the drilling joins in oh gosh. don't get me started on the noises at night

The weather oh gosh. one minute its all dark and gloomy, then its sunny and so hot, and back to gloomy. can't  you make up your mind pshhhh. everytime the  weather changes, i'll have to run around opening or closing the windows and shits 

Laptop is one of the  most frusrating things at home. someday it would be working, some day it just lags and restart by itself  wtf what is this.  and i can't watch dramas online because the sound coming out is just horrible. urgh

sick and tired of everything. just fucking leave me alone

absolutely nothing

so fucking pissed right now gosh.
I hate doing nothing, I hate it so much.
It's like wasting my time, my life away.
So pissed at everyone urgh
Parents fight, it's our fault again.
Why marry each other if fighting all day long is what you both do crazy.
Then you both fight, everyone have to stay home doing absolutely nothing damn it.
I'm so pathetic. No friends to go out with oh my fuck. Ask if can, nobody can. Annoying shits. Everyone doing their own thing. Fuck my life fuck everyone fuckers URGHHHHDRVHHFJDJJRBFJD

broken..

i'm tired of feeling so fucked up.

i'm tired of being ugly, tired of bringing myself down,

tired of being fat, being alone.

i'm tired of being stupid, not being good enough,

pretty enough, tall enough, thin enough, smart enough,

talented enough.

i have a love-hate relationship with clothes.

i'm fat, i don't look good wearing them.

big ass, big tummy, huge thighs, not tall enough

i hate shopping, it brings my self esteem down.

looking at those pretty clothes, always wondering when

is it my turn to look pretty wearing them?

                                        

                                       

i swear not to love anymore.

why am i  always the one being forgotten?

why am i always the one getting hurt?

why am i always used?

why am i always the one waiting?

i give up. it's ridiculous.

                                          

i don't like sharing feelings. it makes me feel 

vulnerable. besides, nobody understands.

nobody care enough to listen. they ask, because they are 

curious. they. don't. care.

i wish.

- grow 10 cm taller

- become 45kg

- skinny long legs, flat stomache

- bigger eyes/ double eye lid

-  nice beautiful hair

- sharper smaller nose

- become smarter, remember things better

- be beautiful

- be popular

- have a bright future

- be rich

- be healthy

- be likeable

- be lucky in love

- have a good singing voice

- better eye sight

i wish upon a star, i wish god, to grant me all my wishes, to make my life better. i wish that they will come true soon. 

memories of the past - friends

2011-2012.
it was the year, everything changed. new school new friends new everything.
because of joey, i choose not to apply for another school and  follow her
to evergreen. i thought she wanted me to go to the same school with her, i
thought our  friendship will last.. and again  i was.. wrong. she hanged out
with all this other girls, and becos i had no other friends, i had to follow her.
i thought, as time  passed,  she would come back to me and we would be
best friends all over again. but no, she continued to be with them.. how
invisible and miserable i was back then..
it  was the sec one camp that changed everything. we were in different
groups and that's when i met maisarah. we clicked immediately, and
became friends during camp. but again, i thought its bad to abandon
joey so i went to find her.. hah turns out she already found another
bestfriend; christine. it was then  i realized,i'll never be  happy
with  her so after  the camp, i started  hanging out with maisarah.
mais was with felicia, so we became  a "clique". but then again i never
felt i belonged.. guess because in primary school i used to be in a
"popular" clique tat do everything together.. guess i wasn't satisfied.
the sense of belonging was not there......

met mabel clique during like half of the year... this  friendship didnt last
long...........

shafik.. i met him during "sing to the dawn" practices. i was rehearsing
with  muhammad and shafik went to see him. we started talking
because he kept laughing about the word "pennies". we started
texting each other ad become best friends ever since.... he's my
first guy friend, ever. we went out before,  the first was going  to
the library, me and him, to do the scrapbook for teachers day.
i had a lot of fun, we even "pen  fight" each other haha and went
walking around cwp for a  while. at the library, you were so scared
that you would see my dad and kept panking. it was so  funny..t
he other time we also went bowlingwith whitney and quanyi. after
that me you and quanyi  went to the library and hanged out a while...
 you even called me after that haha. the other time was when we
 went to the library to study and i was pissed with you because
you kept talking to whitney. before that you and quanyi were
messing around, it  was so much fun (': after a wjile, you
suddenly stopped talking to me and we became distanced..
i tired to talk to you, but you always seems to be annoyed by
me.. i  stopped trying and tired not to care. i was crying everynight,
what did i do wrong? why? i found out the reason.  you were
talking to hazirah. after trying to forget you,  you suddenly started
talking to me again.. i tried not to reply, nut i can't. after that we became
bf again but sadly, you had two. me and hazirah. i was angry and
confused, i was your first bf, how could she come and do  this..
when it was going to be the holidays, we had a big fight between
my clique  and you and hazirah. you were siding  that bitch and
we didnt  even do anything. she was obviously making up some
shits idk why. you asked me to leave my clique, they were bad
influence to me. i was so mad at you. what did we even do??
i scolded you. why are you siding her? i was your first bestfriend.
how can you  not trust me, how could you. i was so hurt and
disgusted with you. i decided to ignore you but you tried to talk
to me.. you asked if we can be  like before, and that
you would  turn over a new leaf and said sorry to me. at that time,
i didnt want to have anything to do with you anymore. i said no.
we couldnt be  the same anymore, this friendship ended there and
then. ive already gave you chances, i tired to  forgive you. i
couldnt.  whats more, you had hazirah right? we didnt talked anymore
since then. but after that i was still hurt by you, and loney. with out
you, i had no one else to talk to anymore. but  i refused to talk
to you.. i just cant. in 2012, i felt so guilty because i rejected you
so hardly that time. i took up my  courage and appogised to you..
i thoght  maybe, we would talk again and be like before.. but no..
i learnt to live without you, but some part of me still long for us..

keefe, you are one big shit in my life. you disgusting pervertic ass.
you suck big time yucks.

whitney, i tired to be  close with you, i tried to be friends with you,
tolerated all your bull shits.and you know what? you are disgusting
too. oh please dont make it that obvious that you only  hang out with
'popular' people. stop ditching people please ew urgh yucks

ok  im too lazy to continue.

time flies me by

2012. time really flies so fast,  in a blink of eye the year is already ending..
all these memories in this one year wow...... looking back i've already
forgotten most of the things that  happened already haha. blame my
poor memory.. i shall do a timeline on the things that happened good
or bad, so next time if i read  back on this post, i'll perhaps remember
them......

hey

did a lot of thinking these days, apparently i always over think when im bored hahahais..
all these thoughts, bottled deep inside me. somehow, no one is understanding enough
to me to listen  my bullcraps and stuffs. so here i am again, gonna blog about my life
and shits here......