memories of the past - friends

2011-2012.
it was the year, everything changed. new school new friends new everything.
because of joey, i choose not to apply for another school and  follow her
to evergreen. i thought she wanted me to go to the same school with her, i
thought our  friendship will last.. and again  i was.. wrong. she hanged out
with all this other girls, and becos i had no other friends, i had to follow her.
i thought, as time  passed,  she would come back to me and we would be
best friends all over again. but no, she continued to be with them.. how
invisible and miserable i was back then..
it  was the sec one camp that changed everything. we were in different
groups and that's when i met maisarah. we clicked immediately, and
became friends during camp. but again, i thought its bad to abandon
joey so i went to find her.. hah turns out she already found another
bestfriend; christine. it was then  i realized,i'll never be  happy
with  her so after  the camp, i started  hanging out with maisarah.
mais was with felicia, so we became  a "clique". but then again i never
felt i belonged.. guess because in primary school i used to be in a
"popular" clique tat do everything together.. guess i wasn't satisfied.
the sense of belonging was not there......

met mabel clique during like half of the year... this  friendship didnt last
long...........

shafik.. i met him during "sing to the dawn" practices. i was rehearsing
with  muhammad and shafik went to see him. we started talking
because he kept laughing about the word "pennies". we started
texting each other ad become best friends ever since.... he's my
first guy friend, ever. we went out before,  the first was going  to
the library, me and him, to do the scrapbook for teachers day.
i had a lot of fun, we even "pen  fight" each other haha and went
walking around cwp for a  while. at the library, you were so scared
that you would see my dad and kept panking. it was so  funny..t
he other time we also went bowlingwith whitney and quanyi. after
that me you and quanyi  went to the library and hanged out a while...
 you even called me after that haha. the other time was when we
 went to the library to study and i was pissed with you because
you kept talking to whitney. before that you and quanyi were
messing around, it  was so much fun (': after a wjile, you
suddenly stopped talking to me and we became distanced..
i tired to talk to you, but you always seems to be annoyed by
me.. i  stopped trying and tired not to care. i was crying everynight,
what did i do wrong? why? i found out the reason.  you were
talking to hazirah. after trying to forget you,  you suddenly started
talking to me again.. i tried not to reply, nut i can't. after that we became
bf again but sadly, you had two. me and hazirah. i was angry and
confused, i was your first bf, how could she come and do  this..
when it was going to be the holidays, we had a big fight between
my clique  and you and hazirah. you were siding  that bitch and
we didnt  even do anything. she was obviously making up some
shits idk why. you asked me to leave my clique, they were bad
influence to me. i was so mad at you. what did we even do??
i scolded you. why are you siding her? i was your first bestfriend.
how can you  not trust me, how could you. i was so hurt and
disgusted with you. i decided to ignore you but you tried to talk
to me.. you asked if we can be  like before, and that
you would  turn over a new leaf and said sorry to me. at that time,
i didnt want to have anything to do with you anymore. i said no.
we couldnt be  the same anymore, this friendship ended there and
then. ive already gave you chances, i tired to  forgive you. i
couldnt.  whats more, you had hazirah right? we didnt talked anymore
since then. but after that i was still hurt by you, and loney. with out
you, i had no one else to talk to anymore. but  i refused to talk
to you.. i just cant. in 2012, i felt so guilty because i rejected you
so hardly that time. i took up my  courage and appogised to you..
i thoght  maybe, we would talk again and be like before.. but no..
i learnt to live without you, but some part of me still long for us..

keefe, you are one big shit in my life. you disgusting pervertic ass.
you suck big time yucks.

whitney, i tired to be  close with you, i tried to be friends with you,
tolerated all your bull shits.and you know what? you are disgusting
too. oh please dont make it that obvious that you only  hang out with
'popular' people. stop ditching people please ew urgh yucks

ok  im too lazy to continue.

time flies me by

2012. time really flies so fast,  in a blink of eye the year is already ending..
all these memories in this one year wow...... looking back i've already
forgotten most of the things that  happened already haha. blame my
poor memory.. i shall do a timeline on the things that happened good
or bad, so next time if i read  back on this post, i'll perhaps remember
them......

hey

did a lot of thinking these days, apparently i always over think when im bored hahahais..
all these thoughts, bottled deep inside me. somehow, no one is understanding enough
to me to listen  my bullcraps and stuffs. so here i am again, gonna blog about my life
and shits here......